Fido Dido!

When writing an abstract for our thesis, we had to include five keywords that summarize what our thesis is about. To sum up my week in five words, it would have to be...

KEYWORDS: HAPPY, MOTIVATED, PRODUCTIVE, SATISFIED, EXCITED.

Life may be full of twist and turns, rough and bumps, but it's also full of surprises! I'm hyper excited about my life! I don't know what the future has in store for me, but the process of working hard is satisfying in and of itself. I really need to learn the attitude of "who cares what the world thinks." Thankfully, I've been immersed in my own world, keeping my eyes focused on what really matters. I need to keep practicing and maintaining what I've been doing and just leave everything else to Him.

GANBATTE :)

Diamond

My brain is a bucket full of liquid: mineral water, raindrops, acid.

If only it could transform into a water filter: capable of separating nutrients from germs, absorbing the first and disposing the latter.

I see, I saw, I've seen

I'm back from my not-quite-relaxing "sight-seeing" trip! haha. Yes! That's how I'd summarize it. hmm, so where should I start?

Airline was such a disappointment. Even though it's a low cost airline, I don't think consumers should need to deal with workers' attitude. If you don't like your job, do something about it. There goes a check mark for Malaysia's tourism and customer service. I'm starting to miss friendly strangers back at Hawaii.

More chaos? Bangkok was a no-go, so we had to buy another ticket to Singapore 48 hours before departure. Lucky we received credit back for the Bangkok tickets after much confusion and trouble. Meaning, more planning to do!

Hmm... Let's see. so I got to meet up with my buddy, sam, strolled through the night market, and tried "smelly tofu" for the first time. Squeezed in a single bed, shivered in cold water shower, and indulged in sam-cooked noodles. As for Singapore, Universal Studios was our best reward.

Anyhow, although it wasn't an incredibly fun trip, I felt like I've seen and learned a lot. Can't get into the details, but I guess I received a lot of warning lights pertaining to life. Pit in front, do not proceed; car crash ahead, please turn left; or traffic light damaged, keep to your right. hah, yes that's about it. I now have a clearer vision of what I should do and what I want to do.

I'M MOTIVATED :)

Wind

I am graduated and unemployed. Yes, I chose to be. I know what I'm doing. I have my own plans. so don't worry and just let me be. so don't judge and just let me free. just wait and you will see :)

Every now and then, music mesmerizes me, giving me a whole different perspective about the world. Today is one of those days.

My flight's tomorrow and I still don't know where I'm going. I have two tickets in my pocket, and one may be going down the drain. To be honest, I'm a little tired to leave home. Why do I feel like people are just wanting me to do everything for them? I need to learn to say no. For now, let me just throw some shirts in my bag and prepare my journey to who-knows-where.

Language

Language is an interesting subject. Though I can hardly make up my mind which language I'm most comfortable with.

I like English when I need to say what I have to say. Just plain and simple. Straight out of my mind, with mmms, hmmms, and a little ah has. but when I can't say things out loud, Chinese is the better choice. It's amazing how much imagination or different directions the same words can lead you to. It's easy to hide feelings behind impartial words. So much guessing, so much uncertainties, so much room for imagination!

Not wanting to forget either language, I have a habit of writing my thoughts in Chinese while I'm at an English speaking country. Now that I'm back at Malaysia, it's turning the other way around! Lucky I need not hide anything ;)

Song of the day: Falling in love at a coffee shop by Landon Pigg

DREAM

DREAM [dreem]

-noun

1. a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep.

I dreamed a dream, that took away most of my doubts. Now, I just need to strengthen my faith :) Buuuuut, nightmares are bugging me as well. I'm just glad they're not a reflection of reality and everyone is safe and sound :)

2. a vision voluntarily indulged in while awake; daydream; reverie.
DREAM, DREAM BIG! I guess this could be my "new year's resolution," though it's a little late for that. I've been overly realistic and, as a result, set too much boundaries for myself. I need to let my imagination run wild and be less of a control freak, heh.

3. an aspiration; goal; aim.
so I'll just DREAM. That's what I need to learn. Getting out of my comfort zone and just dream. Not settling for what I can do, but challenging what I can't. This is my goal :)

Alien

I'm blessed to be with my family, period. That's the only thing that I am sure of. Other than that, my thoughts are running wild and out of control! I haven't had much time to be alone and ponder upon my thoughts since I'm home, so I shall make an effort today and hopefully understand my lost self better.

I feel out of place. Did I turn from a quiet kid into an autistic one? blah. I'm so content being with the only person who understands me that I'm tired to even try to socialize with people. I feel disconnected with the world, but yet part of me feels so alive being with the ones I love. I'm such a contradiction.

Religion is giving me an even harder time. I don't know who I am. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I should believe in. Sometimes, I feel like I should just stop trying to make sense of things and let it be. Maybe it's better that way. But in the process of letting go, I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like I'm wasting the days of my life. ah!

I'm looking forward to Europe! I'm in search of something. I have no idea what it is, but I'll know it when I find it. Perhaps it's just a need to get away from everything, to take a break and start anew, to find a place that I feel at ease, to appreciate life, to know myself better, to know God. Whatever it is, I'm looking forward to it. cause now, I feel completely lost.

like an alien on Earth.