I feel out of place. Did I turn from a quiet kid into an autistic one? blah. I'm so content being with the only person who understands me that I'm tired to even try to socialize with people. I feel disconnected with the world, but yet part of me feels so alive being with the ones I love. I'm such a contradiction.
Religion is giving me an even harder time. I don't know who I am. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I should believe in. Sometimes, I feel like I should just stop trying to make sense of things and let it be. Maybe it's better that way. But in the process of letting go, I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like I'm wasting the days of my life. ah!
I'm looking forward to Europe! I'm in search of something. I have no idea what it is, but I'll know it when I find it. Perhaps it's just a need to get away from everything, to take a break and start anew, to find a place that I feel at ease, to appreciate life, to know myself better, to know God. Whatever it is, I'm looking forward to it. cause now, I feel completely lost.
like an alien on Earth.
1 comment:
Chrystalle!
so interesting. I feel like many of my friends are going through these same thoughts, as am I (or at least I usually am). I hope you are able to figure it out, but yes, life is hard. It should be simple, but it's hard to see it like that when there are so many complications. Religion in particular can be hard to deal with, esp. in relation to others. As complex as it is, just remember the simple truths of life. Love God. Love others.
I love you! I'll see you in three months.
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