Habitation

This must have been my fifth visit to Singapore within the past 18 months. I frown upon the idea of having to fly there just to take care of some personal matters, so this time, I planned an adventure :)

Since it was a last minute booking, I didn't have much time to arrange my accommodation. I figured I'd bunk in Changi airport since it was voted as the best airport of 2010 (http://www.sleepinginairports.net). A friend expressed her sympathy but I felt nothing but excitement! I love the adventurous side of me. Although I have to admit that I'm not the most optimistic person on earth, I like the me who's always in search of beauty in life. She's been missing for some time now and I'm determined to find her back. Reality, please excuse me for a moment while I head on a journey in search of my lost self.

So I caught a midnight flight and arrived at Singapore around 2am. Walked around the airport searching for a cozy spot and set my camp at Starbucks. I tried sleeping, I honestly did. But there was construction going on and the girls seated beside me were extremely excited about a computer game they discovered, so I only managed to nap for an hour and a half. I spent the rest of my time thinking, listening, people watching. I enjoyed it. After 5 hours at Starbucks, I brushed my teeth and washed my face in the bathroom before having sushi for breakfast. Man, this is like... hardcore backpacking. At least I had a bed to sleep in when I "backpacked" Europe last summer.

After breakfast, I headed down to Marina Bay Sands. Got lost for a bit, and found a perfect spot under the tree. I spent my morning sitting on a bench, swaying to soft jazz music, having the time of my life. A few hours later, I grabbed a bottle of gatorade, explored the mall for a bit, and found another spot by the Arts and Science museum. I would have visited if the entrance fee was more reasonable. But since it wasn't, I was content sitting outside the museum, people watching. Seated beside me was a couple with their grandson, eating packed lunch and playing hide-and-seek. They were so adorable. The little kid ran around in circles, his carefree laughter ringing in the air behind him. I couldn't help but smile at such precious moments. I spent more time sitting, listening, reflecting, and being mesmerized by water ripples. Random, I know.

Then, it was time for the Lion King, woot! I was debating if I should watch it for the longest time. I wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea of doing something unfamiliar all by myself, plus it was crazy expensive. But my frustration with my not-so-self pushed me out of my comfort zone and with a click of the mouse, I splurged. No regrets though. I loved it so so much. Before we were seated, a waiter came by with a backpack of coffee plus milo and had to shake himself for a bit before serving the drinks, hah. I was amused. The show was way better than I expected. Especially loved the costumes, choreography, and little Simba's role.

After the show, I rushed my way to Suntec to attend City Harvest Church's Saturday service. Found the place without much difficulty and got there in time for worship. I'm so glad I went. The message wasn't extremely powerful or inspiring but it was really encouraging for me personally; it was just what I needed to lift my spirits. I felt so bonded with God that evening, felt so good to indulge in His presence. I stood there in awe of Him, singing my praises with tears flowing. That moment, I knew I was healed emotionally; I was set free from my doubts and worries, I was free from the bondage that wouldn't have tied me down if I chose to let go.

I took a train back to the airport after service and was hoping to find a better spot for the night. I explored the airport yet again and realize that T3B2 is the happening place. Had a proper meal for dinner then decided to sleep at a kids hang out area. Just when I got comfy, some security guards came by notifying us that the place will be closed for cleaning. Man. And so I lugged my bag with me in search of another spot. Starbucks was packed this time. I sat on one of the plastic chairs, hugged my knees and could only nap for less than half an hour. I feel like my bones are deformed. Grabbed my stuff in search of another spot with my eyes half opened and crashed at the tourist info's lounge. Got to sleep for three hours before I checked in. Explored the transit area but wasn't extremely impressed. The theater and sunflower garden was nice though.

Boarded the plane soon after and was knocked out before take off. Phew, that marks the end of my physically exhausting yet mentally refreshing journey! Taking a mini trip did me good. I'm moving forward yo; me and my happy soul :')

Inspiration

My emotion lost its invisibility cloak; it feels overexposed.

I was taken aback when my lil sis commented that I look wan one day. On a separate occasion, my dad looked me in the eye and told me to take things easy and not be stressed. My mom said yea, I look it. I was slightly bothered by the fact that the three of them saw the same thing in me but eventually shrugged it off. This past Friday, one of my colleagues, whom I rarely speak to, solemnly asked if I was okay cause I looked pale. My friend nodded in agreement. K well, now I'm worried.

I've always disliked insincere "how are you"s. I'm so used to mechanically answering "oh yea, I'm fine" that I suspect I have convinced myself so. I haven't been acknowledging my feelings lately, I just assumed I will be alright. But now I'm starting to think otherwise. I mean, yea, I'm stressed about work, but that's eustress. Nothing I can't handle. It's the emotional distress that's getting on me. I've always been able to manage my emotions appropriately, but I can't believe it's visible on my visage now.

I figured I had to do something about it and decided that I need to be inspired. My advice to self? Get out of the house and do something different. A change in environment and routine turned out to be extremely therapeutic so I had to blog about my weekend to remind myself of the positive experiences I had.

I woke up early on Saturday, planning to catch the bus to campus, but it was raining. So I laid in bed, caught up with some entertainment shows while eating leftover spaghetti. Grabbed my shoes after lunch, and started walking to campus. The route was still as scary as can be. I really hope the kids are well taken care of emotionally and educationally. By the time I reached campus, I was dripping sweat but could do nothing about it since there was a campus wide power shut down. I headed to the lake and started jogging. As you may or may not know, I'm no jogger at all, but I had the greatest time listening to the whisper of the wind, humming to the rhythm of nature's sweetest melody. I felt so in tune with the world. After a 30 minutes jog, I grabbed a bottle of 100plus and found a place to sit down and blog. My thoughts needed some organizing after all. I wish I had more time to quiet down and reflect upon things but I had to rush back and shower before heading out with a friend. Quick fix at Hokkaido Ichiba and caught the Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I especially enjoyed the reclining seat during the movie, cheehuu. After that, we grabbed desserts from Hokkaido Ice Cream and headed home. I thought I'd be knocked out by then but surprisingly, I felt mentally refreshed. So I picked up from where I left off and blogged till 4 in the morning.

The next day, I woke up just in time for lunch. I wanted to try out my new kettle but scalded myself in the process. I kinda forgot about it until I saw my palm red and swollen. Ate spaghetti again but ended up with a tummy ache this time. After lunch, I quickly headed out to wait for the bus but it never came, so I took a stroll instead. It drizzled. I thought it'd be nice to do something different yet again and so I headed for the gym. I had it all to myself for the first 15 minutes, which I thought was extremely pleasant, and spent another 30 minutes working out while enjoying the music. I then grabbed a can of 100plus from our newly opened 7-11 before heading down to the lake to spend some time blogging. I was distracted by the ducks and was mesmerized by the movement and sound of the fountain half of the time I was there. Went home for a quick shower and drove off in my friend's car later that evening. It's the kazillionth time she's asked me to drive. Usually, I'd decline but since this weekend I'm up to no good, I mean, up for something different, I drove! First time driving on the highway and passing the tow! Beep beep! It was super jammed though.

Well, that pretty much summed up my weekend. I still have a bunch of unresolved issues floating in my head but I feel recharged to deal with them now. Mmm, actually, I don't have time for that yet. First year report due in a few weeks, so... mm... prolonged stress? Sighs.

Wedding Galore

I'm back at ghost town, all geared up for work! Mm, well... sorta. I had a nice and relaxing trip back home during Raya break and got to attend two weddings within the week! It was great fun. I especially enjoyed our family day at Labuan. Dad got a car and drove us around the island. Went to the Chimney Museum, the Peace Garden, Layang-Layangan beach, and more driving around that side of the island. I had the greatest time soaking in the sun, with the wind lashing across my cheeks; racing my siblings up the hill, fooling around like nothing else in the world mattered; splashing water by the beach, with sand trickling between my toes. Ah, I haven't felt so alive in a while! I'm falling in love with life all over again :)


Anyhow, back to the wedding. I've always enjoyed family weddings cause it was on such occasion that I first felt a strong sense of connection with my extended family. I wasn't extremely close with most of my cousins since I moved to Hawai'i at a young age, but I still remember how we got so hyped up for one of our cousin sisters' wedding two summers ago. We wrapped our arms around each other, laughed to tears, and sang from the depths of our hearts. We were there with one another, for each other; a bond so strong I could never imagine. It's an indescribable feeling.



So the first wedding was at KK; traditional Chinese custom of picking up the bride followed by an exchange of vows at the church. Somewhat awkward transition from the East to the West but it was nice. Our family members are mostly Buddhist. Seeing them humbling themselves to sing praise songs was a heartwarming sight. The craze started during the wedding dinner. As per usual, there was karaoke. Everyone cheered, clapped, and sang along with a little groove. But this time, one of our lovely cousins had to drag us on stage and I couldn't do anything but to laugh an awkward laugh and join in the fun. Towards the end of the wedding, my dad and his two bros got the scene heated up again. Everyone joined hands; danced, laughed and sang. Ah, so much joy overflowing :)



The next one was a poolside wedding at Labuan. I loved the setting. It was so adorable! Dear future husband, if you exist, can we please please please have a beachside wedding? :) Forgive me for daydreaming at 1:29am, I'll find myself foolish when I'm mentally awake again. Anyhow, this wedding was entirely different from the previous one. It was more laid back and relaxed, though for a good portion of the time, my little nephew clung onto me and I had to run after him every so often.



The weddings, as fun as they were, got me thinking about marriage. I have a foolish fear of being a cat lady. You know, the typical scene portrayed in movies in which an old lady sits quietly on her wooden rocking chair, petting her seven cats laying on her lap; an old lady whom no one will realize she's gone until the neighbors smell something funny. I don't even like cats, sniffles. K fine, I know I'm being pessimistic and melodramatic but I honestly can't be with someone just for the sake of being. I've seen too much unfortunate marriages and I'd never want to be placed in that situation if I can help it. Yet, growing up in a loving family aspires me to build my own. Mmm, why am I thinking about this again? Oh right, weddings. Ah wells, I'm still young, or so I convince myself. My time will come :)

 

Roti prata for now :)