好像 每個人都在找尋另一個自己

頻率相同的另一個知己

I believe God sent you in my life to train my patience, endurance, love, mercy, tolerance, and everything else that I might be lacking. Bittersweet. One day, I'll thank you for everything you taught me. As of now, I'm still learning.

21 days till graduation! 29 till home? I think I need to be home soon. My energy's running low. I need a recharge.

CHAOS! each time I finish a chunk of work, thinking that I'll have a more relaxing weekend to catch a breath, more work piles up. stress is a never-ending cycle. taking a second glance at my schedule book, I believe it true. I honestly can't wait till the semester's over! gah. and as if school isn't stressful enough, emotional distress decided to join the fun! this past week was just awfully stressful! and it's not even ending yet! but I'm so blessed to have my family's full support. they are the reason why I'm still physically and emotionally intact. acknowledging this fact makes me homesick. I just wanna be where my loves are. I wouldn't call Malaysia my home, but that's where my heart is, with the people I love, so that's where I wanna be.

please oh please. let me survive through the semester! I can handle the workload but not the emotional distress, it's driving me insane! can we just say goodbye?

LOOK SAM! humongous text just for you :)

❤ blah. life is full of contradictions. I don't know me no more. still trying to come to terms with everything.

❤ found peace in worship tonight. realized that I haven't been listening to silence or engulfing myself in darkness for a while. I think I shall set aside those earphones more often and hear the wind whisper soft melodies :)

❤ I think it will be a good change for me to stop laying out my life on a piece of paper and just go with the flow. my first start was to give up on grad app this year. not sure if it's a good thing, but it was definitely a hard decision. I have no clue what I'm gonna do for the next 18 months and that freaks me out, just a little. still not comfortable with the idea of not knowing what's ahead of me, but I can give it a try :)

❤ an idea popped up in my head earlier this afternoon! could it be a message from heavens above? :) I'm super excited about it! still debating if it's a possible plan to follow through so I'm keeping it a secret for now.

❤ thesis is giving me a headache. save me.

- A thing called "giri"

- Disconnected

- I miss love

- Owl City

- Moulin Rogue

- C'est la vie

Mixed Feelings

sighs. I've been really happy and content these days. Not because problems are drifting away, but cause I'm learning to love life as it is. There's still a lot of chaos going on, but I feel so blessed to be living :) ah, and the discovery of new music makes me feel very much alive!

Anyhow, I was talking to a friend tonight and got really sentimental (even before leaving!) Aaaah! It's starting to hit me that I'm leaving this place for good too soon! Despite all negativity, I know I'm gonna miss Hawaii. "Forever" can be a scary thought, and to think that I'll never see some of my friends ever again! How can that be? I was thinking deeply into this matter and realize that as much as I love this place, even if I could magically erase all negativity, this isn't the place for me. As much as I'll miss Hawaii, I'd still have to move on.

and and and! for the first time, I'm listening to my heart, turning daydreams into reality! AH, the excitement ♥

so this past Wednesday, I was running some errands and a thought hit me. I wanted to settle down. Not getting married and building a family, but having a steady life and a place I can call home. Though I understand that it's a life long process, I guess I'm just a little tired of not knowing who I am or where I belong. Hmm... I shall save this thought for later. As of now, I'm good. Struggling, but living my life to the fullest :)