Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Time Tunnel
Swept up by a whirlwind; so engulfed with the excitement for what is and what may be that I've not had time to slow down and reflect on what has been.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Chameleon
Today, I felt like (insert photo here).
I sat at the table; silently, listening to noises far from melodious with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. What I heard got me thinking. I took a stroll to the fountain with a lime popsicle in hand. I sat there, starring at the movement of the water, listening to the trickling sound of the fountain. Who am I? I wondered. Why am I who I am?
I took off my sandals and walked to the balcony that I've always liked. I felt the rough texture of the ground rubbing against the sole of my feet, the gentle wind caressing my cheeks, and the sound of the fountain whispering in the background. That was when a soft noise from my iPad caught my attention. I chatted with a friend; talked about trees and wind, descrepencies between self perception and others' impression of who you are, separation and its aftermath... I received a lot of encouragement from this friend of mine; a friend who sees me beyond who I appear to be.
I feel like a chameleon blending into its ever-changing environment. I avoid being the center of attention. I move around silently amongst strangers, protecting myself from the foreign. I observe and listen. I'm so used to hiding behind my camouflage that I suspect I might have forgotten for a sec who I truly am. I never imagined meeting another alike in nature, one who sees me beyond my protective colors, but I did. And I feel like I'm learning more about myself through my fellow comrade :)
I sat at the table; silently, listening to noises far from melodious with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. What I heard got me thinking. I took a stroll to the fountain with a lime popsicle in hand. I sat there, starring at the movement of the water, listening to the trickling sound of the fountain. Who am I? I wondered. Why am I who I am?
I took off my sandals and walked to the balcony that I've always liked. I felt the rough texture of the ground rubbing against the sole of my feet, the gentle wind caressing my cheeks, and the sound of the fountain whispering in the background. That was when a soft noise from my iPad caught my attention. I chatted with a friend; talked about trees and wind, descrepencies between self perception and others' impression of who you are, separation and its aftermath... I received a lot of encouragement from this friend of mine; a friend who sees me beyond who I appear to be.
I feel like a chameleon blending into its ever-changing environment. I avoid being the center of attention. I move around silently amongst strangers, protecting myself from the foreign. I observe and listen. I'm so used to hiding behind my camouflage that I suspect I might have forgotten for a sec who I truly am. I never imagined meeting another alike in nature, one who sees me beyond my protective colors, but I did. And I feel like I'm learning more about myself through my fellow comrade :)
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Wanderer
I love my home. But each time I got used to being away from it, I'm hesitant to return cause I know that it would be so much harder for me to leave when I've been spoiled with overwhelming love and care. That's a nonexistent dilemma though. Cause in the end, I'd hop on the plane anyway.
Had a great Christmas and New Year with my family, though for a few days, I woke up with terrifying thoughts of how much work I have yet to finish. The most exciting part of the holiday was, surprisingly, Christmas shopping! Rather than writing a wish list, we gave each other vague clues and had to decipher each hidden message, haha. 'twas fun! No smell of fresh pine, but we made an artificial tree of our own :)
Had a great Christmas and New Year with my family, though for a few days, I woke up with terrifying thoughts of how much work I have yet to finish. The most exciting part of the holiday was, surprisingly, Christmas shopping! Rather than writing a wish list, we gave each other vague clues and had to decipher each hidden message, haha. 'twas fun! No smell of fresh pine, but we made an artificial tree of our own :)
My break ended real quick, and I'm back at ghost town once again. Got to climb Broga Hill when I got back and boy was it awesome. I can finally name one thing I like about this place now. I loved sitting on a random rock at the top of the hill, feeling the wind in my hair, watching birds soaring the sky, pausing every now and then to gain its momentum. Aaah, freedom.
Monday, December 12, 2011
嘻
本人最近剛通過一年一度的答辯 正式邁入博士學位第二年咯！＊開心＊ 原本想說交了報告能偷懶一下下 哪知工作接二連三 想喘口氣都不行⋯今天終於逮到時間寫點東西啦！
話說上幾個月周遭發生了好多事 迫使我不得不反省自己目前的生活狀態 畢竟還得在這待上兩三年呢！把自己的生活中心完全放在學業上也不是辦法⋯思考了一下下 做了些調整 為生活增添些樂趣 成果似乎還不賴⋯真想一直這樣開心下去⋯
上週末和同事們跑到吉膽島 無敵歡樂！大家有說有笑 還拍了不少照⋯看見朋友上傳的其中一張 不禁愣了一愣⋯本人鮮少照鏡 所以就算某天某人跑來和我說我長了三頭六臂 我想我也會傻乎乎地問聲 真的嗎？這位朋友拍了好多candid shots 其中一張嘛 我笑得像個瘋婆子 不過照片裡的我似乎很開心很開心呢！常常忘了自己除了愛胡思亂想外 也能擁有單純的喜悅 :)
話說上幾個月周遭發生了好多事 迫使我不得不反省自己目前的生活狀態 畢竟還得在這待上兩三年呢！把自己的生活中心完全放在學業上也不是辦法⋯思考了一下下 做了些調整 為生活增添些樂趣 成果似乎還不賴⋯真想一直這樣開心下去⋯
上週末和同事們跑到吉膽島 無敵歡樂！大家有說有笑 還拍了不少照⋯看見朋友上傳的其中一張 不禁愣了一愣⋯本人鮮少照鏡 所以就算某天某人跑來和我說我長了三頭六臂 我想我也會傻乎乎地問聲 真的嗎？這位朋友拍了好多candid shots 其中一張嘛 我笑得像個瘋婆子 不過照片裡的我似乎很開心很開心呢！常常忘了自己除了愛胡思亂想外 也能擁有單純的喜悅 :)
“笑 世界也跟著你一起微笑”
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Barefoot
Protego horribilis!
The one spell I wish I could cast to protect myself from all the negativity floating in air. October was chaotic; but looking back at it now, everything feels so distant. Was it only a few weeks ago that I felt engulfed by my surroundings?
I'm far from optimistic. Hence, I constantly remind myself to stay positive by focusing on the bright side of life. I practice it day by day, knowing it's the best way for me to cope with the challenges and imperfections in life. But during the past month, the excessive complains and talks about quitting create an intense environment so suffocating that I struggled to stand my ground.
Hmm, I don't even know where to start. I mean, the problems preexisted; never liked them, probably never will, but they don't get to me cause I know what I'm here for. I appreciate the learning environment I'm in, and though it's not perfect, I learn to accept it in and of itself. But when everyone starts talking about it day in and and day out, it got to me. My patience wore thin and I grew weary of people day by day.
Thankfully, one of our new colleagues told me about a photomarathon that was going on and I had a chance to take a breather from all the chaos. More than a thousand people participated. There were three themes (Mother Nature, City of Color, and Extraordinary of the Ordinary) and we were given three hours to work on each. We explored the city in search of the hidden beauty of life. I was sweaty, stinky, and my feet covered with mud, but I haven't felt so alive and carefree in the longest time!
I belatedly realize that although I can't change the environment, I can gain control of my life by choosing to live life to the fullest with utmost joy. Thank You for granting me life, Creator :)
"Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world. We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy."
The one spell I wish I could cast to protect myself from all the negativity floating in air. October was chaotic; but looking back at it now, everything feels so distant. Was it only a few weeks ago that I felt engulfed by my surroundings?
I'm far from optimistic. Hence, I constantly remind myself to stay positive by focusing on the bright side of life. I practice it day by day, knowing it's the best way for me to cope with the challenges and imperfections in life. But during the past month, the excessive complains and talks about quitting create an intense environment so suffocating that I struggled to stand my ground.
Hmm, I don't even know where to start. I mean, the problems preexisted; never liked them, probably never will, but they don't get to me cause I know what I'm here for. I appreciate the learning environment I'm in, and though it's not perfect, I learn to accept it in and of itself. But when everyone starts talking about it day in and and day out, it got to me. My patience wore thin and I grew weary of people day by day.
Thankfully, one of our new colleagues told me about a photomarathon that was going on and I had a chance to take a breather from all the chaos. More than a thousand people participated. There were three themes (Mother Nature, City of Color, and Extraordinary of the Ordinary) and we were given three hours to work on each. We explored the city in search of the hidden beauty of life. I was sweaty, stinky, and my feet covered with mud, but I haven't felt so alive and carefree in the longest time!
I belatedly realize that although I can't change the environment, I can gain control of my life by choosing to live life to the fullest with utmost joy. Thank You for granting me life, Creator :)
"Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world. We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy."
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Experiment 626
"Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind, or forgotten."
Know that aggressive and cunning blue creature that's practically indestructible? That's my favorite Disney character---Stitch. I know it doesn't fit the typical definition of cuteness, but I like that fella for slightly odd reasons. I like it for it is unloved; for what it's capable of transforming into if given a chance. I like its story of love, hope, and belongingness; the story that never fails to tug the corner of my heart. I like how it reminds me so much of myself.
A lot of times, I feel like an alien stranded on earth, unsure of my purpose on this planet I'm supposed to call home. I've been contemplating about "home" for some time now. A term that bears more meaning than a mere roof over the head; the place where the heart belongs. And where does mine? My heart's always on the move, like a backpacker I suppose. It's nice to be able to explore and uncover the beauty of various destinations, to embrace change and be excited about the unknown; yet sometimes, it's a bummer returning to a temporary lodge day after day, unable to linger at a place you grew to love.
So my friend and I were talking about long distance friendships one day. Speaking from her own experiences, she believes that long distance friendships are hard to maintain after a year or two cause it kinda fades away when you're no longer part of each others' life. Her comment saddened me cause I believe it partially true. The fact that I haven't been in touch with some of my friends at Hawai'i since google chat voice started charging calls to the U.S. made me feel disconnected with part of who I was. The lovely bunch who used to share my laughter and tears, estranged. Although I believe that when we get together again, we'll be able to pick up from where we left off, it saddens me that things won't be the same anymore. No more late night girls talk, no more falling asleep to Boys Meet World, no more monthly Blockbuster scary movie nights, no more weekly island adventures, no more unplanned evenings in car parks, no more random Waikiki outings, no more lunch dates, no more beach, no more hikes, no more... Man, I thought blogging was supposed to help me feel better about the whole situation.
I understand that change is inevitable; but each time, I feel like I left a piece of me behind, leaving a void in my heart. I try not to complain, but sometimes I get tired of restarting my life over and over again. Exhausted to the point where I'm reluctant to make an effort to start something that will end in due time. It's not easy, at least not for me. But if it's His will to push me out of my comfort zone and experience life changes a little more than average, then I shall learn to embrace it. As in the story of "Who Moved My Cheese," change happens whether you like it or not. You either anticipate, accept, and move along with it, or you rot with your stinky old cheese. So I guess that leaves me no choice but to move on with the new cheese and learn to enjoy it.
Pray do give me strength.
A lot of times, I feel like an alien stranded on earth, unsure of my purpose on this planet I'm supposed to call home. I've been contemplating about "home" for some time now. A term that bears more meaning than a mere roof over the head; the place where the heart belongs. And where does mine? My heart's always on the move, like a backpacker I suppose. It's nice to be able to explore and uncover the beauty of various destinations, to embrace change and be excited about the unknown; yet sometimes, it's a bummer returning to a temporary lodge day after day, unable to linger at a place you grew to love.
So my friend and I were talking about long distance friendships one day. Speaking from her own experiences, she believes that long distance friendships are hard to maintain after a year or two cause it kinda fades away when you're no longer part of each others' life. Her comment saddened me cause I believe it partially true. The fact that I haven't been in touch with some of my friends at Hawai'i since google chat voice started charging calls to the U.S. made me feel disconnected with part of who I was. The lovely bunch who used to share my laughter and tears, estranged. Although I believe that when we get together again, we'll be able to pick up from where we left off, it saddens me that things won't be the same anymore. No more late night girls talk, no more falling asleep to Boys Meet World, no more monthly Blockbuster scary movie nights, no more weekly island adventures, no more unplanned evenings in car parks, no more random Waikiki outings, no more lunch dates, no more beach, no more hikes, no more... Man, I thought blogging was supposed to help me feel better about the whole situation.
I understand that change is inevitable; but each time, I feel like I left a piece of me behind, leaving a void in my heart. I try not to complain, but sometimes I get tired of restarting my life over and over again. Exhausted to the point where I'm reluctant to make an effort to start something that will end in due time. It's not easy, at least not for me. But if it's His will to push me out of my comfort zone and experience life changes a little more than average, then I shall learn to embrace it. As in the story of "Who Moved My Cheese," change happens whether you like it or not. You either anticipate, accept, and move along with it, or you rot with your stinky old cheese. So I guess that leaves me no choice but to move on with the new cheese and learn to enjoy it.
Pray do give me strength.
Figure 1. A frowning cactus yearning for a hug. Exactly why I love stitch.
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