Humans are complex creatures. I feel like I'm being melodramatic, but I honestly believe that mastering interpersonal relationship is an art in itself.
Earlier in the month, multiple events that happened either directly related to me or to the people around me gave me a huge wake-up call. I have difficulty trusting; hence the teeny-weeny amount of people that I make an effort to build and maintain a good relationship. Yet recently, things that happened made me rethink what true friendships really mean and who I can truly consider friends. What do you do when you realize that all your beliefs were nothing but lies? How can you learn to trust yourself again, before anything else? Don't worry, I'm not facing a crisis or anything, but it made me realize how things could possibly transform into major issues and get out of control. It's frightening how fragile a relationship can be, but it also made me cherish the sincere relationships that I have even more than before.
It's so difficult to meet an open-minded person who share the same values and interests as you do. I'm glad to say I know one person who thinks on the same frequency as I do: my mom! Hah, she's like my #1BFF who can read my mind! I'm also grateful for the few friends that I continually have meaningful conversations with! The exchange of thoughts and ideas can be so rejuvenating!
Anyhow, I don't mean to magnify the problems that are continually present in life. I just needed to remind the perfectionist side of me that we live in an imperfect world and that's not gonna change. What can be changed is our perception of the world. So... bust out those rose-colored glasses when needed! :)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Singapore
Based on personal preference and possibly bias, limited exposure, or premature judgment, China and Singapore are two countries that I can't imagine myself living at. But no, it's not my final verdict. I'm open-minded and willing to change my mind about things when necessary :)
I've just visited Singapore for the third time over the past 12 months and I seem to be changing my mind about this country every time I visit. Last March, my friend and I stayed at a friend's dorm at NUS. During this visit, I was quite pleased with the customer service, namely an extremely bubbly bus driver and polite staffs at Universals, but had mixed feelings about the education system. The standard's up to par and students are actively involved in various activities but operationally, it seems rigid and unyielding, which added on to my initial dislike of the competitive nature that's fostered because of a society's strong emphasis on classism. In general, I upheld my slightly negative view of the country.
However, my second visit last December was a positive experience from the very beginning. Before departure, I was searching for directions and, to my amazement, their official public transport website planned out detailed routes for me. While debating if I should take a cab, I was also given detailed estimates of the cost, taking factors such as peak hours, into account. When I was there, I had an enjoyable time with my cousin. We had fun shopping, enjoyed our Japanese meals, and I was impressed with several fashionably clean bathrooms. It was awesome! Although it's highly possible that I had a good time mainly because I had great company.
Anyhow, I've just came back from Singapore with my dad last night, and I no longer know what I think of it anymore. When we arrived, my dad and I took a stroll alongside the Singapore River, passed by a whole stretch of restaurants with kazillion expats socializing with mugs of beer in hand, strolled along Marina Bay and was impressed with the man-made decorations and architectures that beautified the place, then had a marvelous dinner at artificial road-side hawkers. While walking back, we came across an outdoor music festival called Mosaic. We stopped by to enjoy some good music and I was pleasantly surprised at the existence of such publicly available events. Plus, not only was it a full house, there were rows of audiences standing at the back! I noticed that a good portion of the audiences were single working adults that came to enjoy music alone, and I paid great compliments to the flourishing of such culture. I even told my dad that I seem to be gaining a more positive outlook each time I visit Singapore. I might have jinxed it cause my experience went downhill next day onwards. During this visit, I dragged my dad to stay at a hostel with me and yes it was a clean one, as one would expect from this extremely tidy city. Initially, I was extremely excited to pick up my backpack again, but it was different from my experience in Europe. Yes the hostel was clean, yes we had food, hot shower, wi-fi, tv, dvds, and a bookshelf full of books, but it was different. It wasn't vibrant nor full of life. It was odd. After a quick bite at the hostel, we headed to Orchard Road to do some shopping. First purchase was a band-aid. My dad requested politely for a band-aid and he got a little extra: bad attitude. The old man's response was "bandage is a cloth for serious injuries that needs wrapping, plaster is what you want." Honestly, we're not even asking for a bandage. What we want is a band-aid, sir, band-aid. It's the I-know-it-all-which-makes-me-better-so-I'll-look-down-at-you attitude that irked me. Encountered another lady with attitude the next day. My dad wanted to try an Azuki Red Bean and thus I ordered as requested, but turns out there were two Azuki Red Beans on the menu: a Japanese Azuki Red Bean and an Azuki Red Bean. We realized it before the lady made the drink and so we told her what we wanted was the Japanese one and she got mad mumbling about how Japanese Azuki Red Bean and Azuki Red Bean are two different things. Seriously, we're first time customers who aren't familiar with your menu.What's all the fuss about? All you have to do is tell us. Anyhow, I really shouldn't be irritated about these minor things, but I just can't understand how people don't get the concept of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" Mat 7:12. Times like these, I miss Hawai'i and the friendly strangers inhibiting the island.
Ah well, done with my immature ramblings. It bothers me when the perfectionist side of me, in regards to work ethics, kicks in. I always feel like people should make the effort to do their best in their jobs, cause that's the career that your life's depended on, but I guess I need to get over the fact that everyone has their own values and thoughts, thus creating a diverse society. If everyone was to work efficiently, I suppose the world would potentially be mechanical and dull, similar to what Aldous Huxley portrayed in his novel Brave New World. There's two sides of the same coin, so try to find a balance in life and focus on the bright side. You may never find the perfect environment, but what's important is finding the right group of people who share the same values as you do, the right group of people who are supportive in your journey to the future.
I've just visited Singapore for the third time over the past 12 months and I seem to be changing my mind about this country every time I visit. Last March, my friend and I stayed at a friend's dorm at NUS. During this visit, I was quite pleased with the customer service, namely an extremely bubbly bus driver and polite staffs at Universals, but had mixed feelings about the education system. The standard's up to par and students are actively involved in various activities but operationally, it seems rigid and unyielding, which added on to my initial dislike of the competitive nature that's fostered because of a society's strong emphasis on classism. In general, I upheld my slightly negative view of the country.
However, my second visit last December was a positive experience from the very beginning. Before departure, I was searching for directions and, to my amazement, their official public transport website planned out detailed routes for me. While debating if I should take a cab, I was also given detailed estimates of the cost, taking factors such as peak hours, into account. When I was there, I had an enjoyable time with my cousin. We had fun shopping, enjoyed our Japanese meals, and I was impressed with several fashionably clean bathrooms. It was awesome! Although it's highly possible that I had a good time mainly because I had great company.
Anyhow, I've just came back from Singapore with my dad last night, and I no longer know what I think of it anymore. When we arrived, my dad and I took a stroll alongside the Singapore River, passed by a whole stretch of restaurants with kazillion expats socializing with mugs of beer in hand, strolled along Marina Bay and was impressed with the man-made decorations and architectures that beautified the place, then had a marvelous dinner at artificial road-side hawkers. While walking back, we came across an outdoor music festival called Mosaic. We stopped by to enjoy some good music and I was pleasantly surprised at the existence of such publicly available events. Plus, not only was it a full house, there were rows of audiences standing at the back! I noticed that a good portion of the audiences were single working adults that came to enjoy music alone, and I paid great compliments to the flourishing of such culture. I even told my dad that I seem to be gaining a more positive outlook each time I visit Singapore. I might have jinxed it cause my experience went downhill next day onwards. During this visit, I dragged my dad to stay at a hostel with me and yes it was a clean one, as one would expect from this extremely tidy city. Initially, I was extremely excited to pick up my backpack again, but it was different from my experience in Europe. Yes the hostel was clean, yes we had food, hot shower, wi-fi, tv, dvds, and a bookshelf full of books, but it was different. It wasn't vibrant nor full of life. It was odd. After a quick bite at the hostel, we headed to Orchard Road to do some shopping. First purchase was a band-aid. My dad requested politely for a band-aid and he got a little extra: bad attitude. The old man's response was "bandage is a cloth for serious injuries that needs wrapping, plaster is what you want." Honestly, we're not even asking for a bandage. What we want is a band-aid, sir, band-aid. It's the I-know-it-all-which-makes-me-better-so-I'll-look-down-at-you attitude that irked me. Encountered another lady with attitude the next day. My dad wanted to try an Azuki Red Bean and thus I ordered as requested, but turns out there were two Azuki Red Beans on the menu: a Japanese Azuki Red Bean and an Azuki Red Bean. We realized it before the lady made the drink and so we told her what we wanted was the Japanese one and she got mad mumbling about how Japanese Azuki Red Bean and Azuki Red Bean are two different things. Seriously, we're first time customers who aren't familiar with your menu.What's all the fuss about? All you have to do is tell us. Anyhow, I really shouldn't be irritated about these minor things, but I just can't understand how people don't get the concept of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" Mat 7:12. Times like these, I miss Hawai'i and the friendly strangers inhibiting the island.
Ah well, done with my immature ramblings. It bothers me when the perfectionist side of me, in regards to work ethics, kicks in. I always feel like people should make the effort to do their best in their jobs, cause that's the career that your life's depended on, but I guess I need to get over the fact that everyone has their own values and thoughts, thus creating a diverse society. If everyone was to work efficiently, I suppose the world would potentially be mechanical and dull, similar to what Aldous Huxley portrayed in his novel Brave New World. There's two sides of the same coin, so try to find a balance in life and focus on the bright side. You may never find the perfect environment, but what's important is finding the right group of people who share the same values as you do, the right group of people who are supportive in your journey to the future.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Expats
so one of our friends was telling us how expats with negative mindsets are unappreciative of the Malaysian culture, that they hold on to their own set of expectations and do not make the effort to immerse in the culture. I took a look at the blog that she referred us to and couldn't help bursting into laughter! I gotta admit that I can empathize with this particular expat, minus the sarcasm. I think it's more about ethics and values rather than culture per se. But if you're putting the blame on culture for inefficiency and lack of progression, then I have nothing better to say. Well, the purpose of this post isn't to complain so I won't get into the details of the content of the blog, but I guess I've learned a few things from this conversation.
1. People can be very defensive of their country or culture, so try to be extremely positive cause honesty doesn't cut it (Trust me, I've made this mistake once and boy was it awkward).
2. I suppose now I can understand why I feel like an outsider. but on a brighter note, I feel less awkward knowing that there are people out there that feel the same as I do.
1. People can be very defensive of their country or culture, so try to be extremely positive cause honesty doesn't cut it (Trust me, I've made this mistake once and boy was it awkward).
2. I suppose now I can understand why I feel like an outsider. but on a brighter note, I feel less awkward knowing that there are people out there that feel the same as I do.
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